Blog Short #219: Create a Life That Matters With These Three Powerful Practices
Photo by Alexey Demidov on Unsplash
Do you ever wish your life was different? Of course you do. Everyone does. While your life may seem perfect sometimes, I’m guessing you have more moments when you want change.
It’s human nature. We’re always striving for something different, something more, something that will make us feel happier.
It’s okay to strive. Without that urge, you wouldn’t evolve. So it’s a necessity. But it can become an obsession. You think, “What if? If only . . .”
What about trying this instead?
Surrender.
Did you just blanch? Surrender? Never!
Surrender doesn’t mean giving up, accepting mediocrity, or losing your desire and drive to improve. It means making an impact. Right now. Right where you are.
Let me explain:
If you’re always striving and looking ahead, you’re missing what you have and what you can do now. After all, we’re always in the present. This day. This moment.
How can you make this moment meaningful? What can you do with what you have right now that fulfills your need for value?
Okay, let’s figure out how to use this idea to make our lives more fulfilling.
Straddling
You have to straddle the present and future at the same time.
If you want to look at it philosophically, the present always holds the future.
If you act with your whole self in the present, you create your future.
Of course, outside events and forces shape your future, too, but you have significant input, and you can use that to make your present circumstances valuable and meaningful.
In so doing, you have dynamic input into where your future goes.
How to Make This Work
Let’s get practical. Develop these three regular practices to keep yourself in the present while building a future and making an impact.
1. Relationships and Interactions
Focus on your daily interactions.
How are you conducting yourself in each interaction?
This question applies to people you’re close to, people you work with, and people you don’t know but cross paths with.
In other words, everyone you interact with, even if it’s just a nod or a smile.
Your goal is to decide how you want to conduct yourself based on your values and who you want to be, and then observe how well you do that and how often you stray from it.
By watching yourself, you become more purposeful and focused on your behavior. You give more of yourself in ways that add to others’ lives rather than detract.
It’s easy to underestimate the value and impact of a single interaction of goodwill.
Set these goals:
- Affirm others’ worth regularly in thought and deed. That means offering words of encouragement, affirmation, and gratitude.
- Be authentic in your interactions.
- Be kind, considerate, and positive. If you have problems with someone, approach them respectfully as you seek to resolve the issue.
- Avoid spewing hate, scorn, and criticism.
In other words, consciously observe and upgrade your behavior in your interactions. Doing that will change your future.
2. Daily Focus
Recognize the value of each day.
That sounds a bit trite, but I don’t mean that way.
As you start the day, decide what you can do to make it worthwhile and useful.
Set out your activities to provide as much service and value as possible in the 24 hours, including 8 hours of sleep.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s a heavy workday or a more relaxed day.
All days offer opportunities, even those when unexpected problems arise.
What’s important is your level of engagement, both behaviorally and emotionally.
What service are you providing?
Service is a broad concept that includes obvious things like caring for others, working at your job, or running errands for your family.
But it also includes attitude, willingness to engage, cheerful acceptance and execution of duties, and acknowledging the needs of others in your environment.
If you’re busy, you probably pay a lot of attention to your to-do list. I do that.
But it’s equally important to offer a kind and willing attitude and be flexible when needed.
It’s easy to forget that when you’re hyper-focused on checking that list off.
Fully engage with the right attitude and make your day a full circle in itself.
That keeps you present while sowing the seeds of a better future.
3. Reflection
Set aside a time each day, preferably at the same time, to reflect on your behavior, mindset, and interactions.
How did you do? What went well, and where could you have improved?
Nothing changes without reflection.
By setting up a daily review habit, you stay in the present and become intimately aware of yourself and your progress.
The caveat is that you must approach this exercise without harshness or a critical eye.
The point is to increase your awareness so you have more to work with. It’s not to be used as a means of berating yourself.
The more honestly you can assess your emotions, activities, and behavior, the better off you’ll be. You’ll know where to make changes and also feel good about what you’ve accomplished.
Some habits will take longer to change, but reminding yourself daily of where you are will help you stick with your goals and aspirations.
You’ll also increase your agency and gain greater control over yourself, which always feels good.
The Benefits
The three practices we’ve just outlined will help you bring your present into your future and simultaneously enhance and sharpen aspects of your personal development. It’s a win-win. Here’s how.
Sharpen Your Conscience
Focusing on your interactions with others will expand your use of conscience. You will become more acutely aware of your effect on others and your environment.
Our culture has become lax in this respect, but not to our benefit. Your individual input is powerful, so use it consciously.
Add Meaning to Your Life
When you focus on making each day valuable, you add to your sense of meaning.
You can see how your activities and input have value and impact.
You broaden your concept of service and understand more fully how your daily actions contribute.
It’s easier to pursue and accomplish goals when you see how they fit into the positive fabric of everyone’s life, not just yours. You feel a sense of community.
It’s easy to dismiss your impact when focused on the global problems blasted daily across every media outlet.
You still have an impact. Don’t underestimate it.
Increase Your Satisfaction
When you stay focused on the present and do what you can daily, you can feel satisfied that you’ve contributed to the well-being of the human race, including yourself.
You add to your happiness and peace because you’ve done what you can.
Not perfection, mind you. Don’t get caught up in being perfect.
Be good enough, compassionate, attentive, and active.
Add value. That’s enough.
That’s all for today.
Hope you have a great week!
All my best,
Barbara