Comparing yourself to others is like stepping into a black hole. You can always find someone who can outdo you in some way or other so that you end up on the bottom.
There’s nothing good or healthy about this. It’s an exercise to confirm that you’re not good enough.
Here’s how to stop doing this, and what to do instead.
Atomic Habits by James Clear
My favorite non-fiction read of 2019 was Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear. If you haven’t read it yet, go get it today in whatever your favorite mode of reading may be, and read it! I chose Kindle which is mine, and scarfed it up!
Let’s start with 3 ideas that are included in the first several chapters:
Essentialism by Greg McKeown
I recently had the pleasure of reading Essentialism by Greg McKeown. Actually the full title with subtitle is Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less.
McKeown’s premise is that we can’t do it all, and the idea that we can is simply false and leads us down the rabbit hole in a maze of diversionary paths that keep us from doing anything well.
By saying yes to everyone, taking on everything, trying to please all parties, and kidding ourselves that we can always add just one more thing, we end up not doing those things that are most important to us. Instead we diffuse our energy, our will power, and even our interest.
Dependability is an underrated personal quality. I say that because so many of us have difficulty either developing it or sustaining it.
You might even think that you’re very dependable, but in reality you’re not.
It’s easy to get distorted when thinking about this because in our hearts, we may feel as though we can be counted on, especially when it is important. The “important” part is where the distortion takes place.
When you’re trying to improve your relationship with your partner, it’s easy to focus on the negative stuff. You see all problems that need to be addressed, and your attention naturally goes there.
But . . . if you’re always focused on the problems, chances are you may be increasing the divide between you. There has to be an equal, if not greater emphasis, on what’s right!
Of all the tools we have to help us navigate life, the mind is the first and most important.
Everything we do, think, feel, and remember is facilitated by our minds. It’s our starting point, our perceiver, our interpreter, and ultimately has the last word on how we experience our lives.
The paradox is that the mind can be an amazing tool to help us actualize our desires and goals, but it can also be our worst enemy.
Meditation is a life-changing habit that has cumulative effects over time. There are many types of meditation, and I encourage you to explore them all and decide what works best for you.
If you’ve never tried it before, you might find this technique simple and effective as a starter. It can also be practiced long-term. Either way, it’s easy and will get you engaged and on your way.
When you make a mistake or are disappointed in yourself for something you did (or didn’t do), do you react by beating yourself up?
Does it help?
Not usually. It may relieve some of your guilt, but most times not. More likely, it makes you feel worse.
Catastrophic thinking is a debilitating source of anxiety that plagues a lot of us. Most simply, it means jumping to the worst-case scenario when thinking about a situation or future event.
Your husband doesn’t call you on his way home from work like he usually does, and you decide he must have been in an accident and is probably dead.
The term “Narcissistic Personality” is popping up a lot in the news currently, so I thought it would be a good subject for a blog. Any time a mental health diagnosis begins to surface a lot in popular culture, distortions and misunderstandings occur about what it really means. This has happened a lot with the diagnoses Bi-Polar Disorder and ADHD.
I’ll warn you up front that this is a longer than usual blog, but the subject matter is complex and I want to make sure I cover it well so you have a good understanding of it.
