Photo by Bastian Weltjen

When you think of self-discipline, the two words that most likely pop up in your mind are willpower and motivation.

Those certainly help, but they aren’t always easy to access. Sometimes you have to come in the back door.

You take a small action, feel a little motivation, take another action, get another motivation boost, and so on.

But what if you can’t even get yourself to take that first action?

It’s time to try something else, and that something else is to make better use of your environment.

Your environment can help you sidestep resistance and move you along so that you eventually feel motivated.

In other words, you don’t have to muster up a lot of willpower or energy to get started. You can instead put yourself in the right environment to instigate some action that will get you going, and your motivation will follow.

There are three aspects of the environment to consider and use. Let’s go through them.

People

We’re social animals. The need to belong is part of our DNA.

Even if you consider yourself an individualist and prefer to keep your own company, you still need contact with other people, whether through reading books, being out in public for short amounts of time, or belonging to a group of some sort, like a book or business club.

That said, who you spend time with has a significant impact on how you think, feel, and behave. Especially those with whom you spend a lot of time.

There’s science behind this fact, based on the operation of a specific type of neuron in your brain called a mirror neuron.

The more you’re around someone and engage with them, the more your brain syncs with them due to the action of mirror neurons.

The way they work is that when you observe someone else doing something with intent, the neurons in your brain fire the same as those in the brain of the person doing that thing.

You watch me pour a cup of coffee, and your brain syncs with mine and maps out a neural representation of the same action in your head. It’s actually rather amazing and is the basis of how much learning occurs.

It follows that you need to be deliberate in choosing the company you keep, as they will influence you and vice versa.

I’m sure you’ve had that experience. You end up using similar phrases when you talk, take on each other’s mannerisms, engage in similar activities, and often pick up each other’s habits.

How to Use This

So, what this means is that if you hang out with self-disciplined people, you’re more likely to be the same way.

If I want to write well, I read books by the best writers on how to write. I take the courses they offer and listen to them. I read their articles daily.

And even better, if I have an opportunity to write in the same room with someone else who’s writing, I’ll take it. That setting makes it much easier to stay engaged.

For example, right now, I’m writing in the same room as my sister, who is also working on her computer.

The same applies to character.

If you surround yourself with people who have a strong work ethic, are committed, empathetic, have integrity, and are trustworthy, you’re more likely to engage in and increase those qualities in yourself.

The converse is also true, so be sure to choose wisely.

Set yourself up to keep company with people who emulate your values, are self-disciplined, and know how to achieve their goals.

When you can, do your work in their company. They’ll rub off on you, and your assets will rub off on them too.

Places

A better word here would be settings.

When you want to accomplish something, choose the setting you know is most likely to help you stay steady in your efforts.

This is why some people go to a library to do their work. It helps them avoid being distracted.

On the other hand, some people love working at home alone. They get much more accomplished that way.

But to do that, you have to be good at structuring yourself. I’m that way now, but in my 30s and 40s, I had to be in a setting that provided outside structure.

If you need some help with structure, don’t fight it.

Work at an office where you have deadlines you can’t escape. Or create accountability in a way that will mean something to you.

Maybe you just need the stimulation of other people. Work in a group setting or adopt a hybrid approach that combines some in-office work with some at-home work.

Another helpful type of setting is using an accountability partner, where you both keep each other steady.

These days, with technology, you can work with someone else online, over the phone, or even just by texting back and forth.

I remember when my son was in middle school, he did his math on the phone with his friend who was in the same class. They did it every night, and both did well in class as a result.

Choose Carefully

Settings not only apply to work issues but to any type of disciplined activity or behavior. This is why people go to the gym to exercise, join a book club to read, or attend a self-help group to overcome a problem.

Choose settings and people that will provide the optimal atmosphere for whatever behavior, work, goal, or attitude you’re trying to upgrade.

Conversely, avoid settings that you know will inhibit your progress. Don’t discount their effects.

Figure out what environmental setting is most conducive for you to succeed. And then pursue it.

Things

Things are a more nebulous category, but they still have a place and influence.

Things are objects such as dinging cellphones, background noise that’s distracting, or any substance that’s addictive and interferes with your discipline.

Things are deeply entwined with settings, yet they possess their own power. If the novel I’m dying to finish is in plain sight while I’m working on my taxes, which do you think is going to win out?

What about you? What things distract you or keep you from disciplining yourself to accomplish your goals or control your behavior?

Then again, what things help? A cup of coffee, the right chair, a computer desk, a particular pen, or a specific lamp.

What things should you avoid or quiet, and what things can you bring into your environment to encourage you?

Putting It Together

Okay, let’s put it all together.

1. Your environment has a significant impact on how well you can discipline yourself to meet your goals, behave the way you like to, live your values, and get things done.
2. Construct your environment so that it works with you, not against you. Use it to initiate action, which then leads to motivation and drive.
3. Consider your environment to be your partner. Hopefully, not your partner in crime, but your partner in success.

Here’s a quote from James Clear that summarizes it for you:

Think about self-control less as the quality of a person and more as the quality of a place. There are some places and situations that lean toward lower self-control and others that lean toward higher self-control. Self-control is about your context as much as your character. Put yourself in good positions. ~ James Clear

That’s all for today.

Have a great week!

All my best,

Barbara