Blog Short #238: How to Set Yourself Up For a Good Day

You make an important decision every morning, usually before you get out of bed. You decide what kind of day you’re going to have.

Not just whether good or bad things will happen, but how you’ll feel about them; what you expect, and how it will impact you.

You decide all of that in moments after waking up.

Often, you make the decision on autopilot without intention. But it’s in your best interest to make that decision deliberately and consciously.

If you don’t, you’ll be subject to the whims of your emotions, likely for the whole day.

So, how do you take advantage of this choice? Here’s what I do.

When I wake up every day, before I even sit up, I say to myself:

“Barb, you’re going to make today a good day!”

Okay! That’s a good intention, but there’s more to it. Let’s start with what it doesn’t mean.

What It Doesn’t Mean

It doesn’t mean that:

Everything’s going to go well.
There will be no tough problems to encounter or solve.
Everyone else will be easygoing, kind, and friendly toward you.
Your mood won’t fluctuate and will remain positive.
You’ll meet all the goals you set out to do for the day.
You’ll be happy!

We both know that’s not how life works.

Some mornings, you wake up in a bad mood, or what you have on your plate for the day is grueling and anxiety-producing. Those are things that happen outside of your control.

Yet, even in those circumstances, you can make the choice to meet those obstacles with a firm can-do attitude and openness to make the most of them.

That brings us to what having a good day does mean.

What It Does Mean

Having a good day means that you will:

Assume a positive attitude and approach situations with an open mind.
Notice and be grateful for anything you can.
View each person you interact with through a compassionate lens, even those who are difficult.
Stick to boundaries you’ve set calmly and affirmatively.
Avoid personalizing.
Strive to make a positive impact no matter the circumstances or tasks at hand.
Appreciate opportunities for learning, insights, and growth.
View struggles as challenges to help you reach higher.
Accept that not everything will go well, but there’s another day.

That’s a lot, isn’t it? It is, but with practice, you can get so good at it that your reactions are automated. You automatically keep your mind open, look for silver linings, and appreciate what you can learn.

The key is your attitude toward your emotions.

Here’s what I mean:

We all want to be happy. All the time, if possible. And we interpret our experiences against that desire. Whether we feel happy or not.

That’s nothing new, but what you need to keep in the front of your mind is that:

Emotions are fleeting.
But you can use them to your benefit.

When you succumb to your emotions and the desire to feel happy all the time, you shortchange yourself.

You allow your feelings to color your experiences and control your state of mind.

You wake up in the morning feeling off, depressed, grumpy, or dread what you have on your agenda for the day. So, you cave into that.

Your emotions lead. They color how your day’s going to go without your input, other than to inflate and exacerbate the feelings you woke up with.

You are not your emotions.

They do have a significant impact on how you experience things, but you can influence them with intention.

Even if you’re feeling moody, you can make your day better. You can use your thinking to take actions that will shift your emotions.

Emotions can be very fickle. They affect your drive and motivation, but you can make them work for you instead of having them control you. You can harness that drive.

Much of how you feel is due to how you perceive and interpret your experiences.

I’m not suggesting you repress or suppress your emotions. I’m never a fan of that, but you can put them aside when you need to. You can challenge them. You can take actions that change them. And you can embrace them and make them work to your advantage.

They have the power you give them. And when they get out of hand, you can take a step back and look at them from a distance, which dilutes their power.

You can also use your self-talk strategies we reviewed last week to impact them.

Try This:

Get in the habit of saying to yourself before you get out of bed,

“I’m going to make this a good day.” Not “It’s going to be a good day,” but “I’ll make it a good day.” Use your agency.

You can also use your first name instead of “I” if you like, as it can have more impact.

Things that Help

There are some habits you can develop to help you keep your emotions in check throughout the day. Here are some you might try.

Create a morning routine that includes affirming rituals, such as meditation, a gratitude list, or quiet time.
Take breaks throughout the day. They can be short, but make them restful.
Set realistic goals for each day the night before.
But also be flexible. Flexibility is essential for making any day good, as things are constantly in flux, some days more than others.
Don’t personalize other people’s bad moods. Be kind, supportive, and helpful, but give people space when they need it.
Use mistakes to improve, not demoralize yourself.
Engage in calming activities and self-care. Have your favorite cup of coffee on your break and sit outside.
Take a midday or morning walk if the weather permits.
Debrief at the end of the day. What went well? What changes do you want to make tomorrow?

You don’t need to use all of these, but choose some to start with that are a good fit for you. These habits should make your day easier, not add additional work or create stress.

The Mindset

Now that we’ve talked about how to have a good day, there will still be days that leave you saying to yourself, “Thank goodness this day’s over.” That’s to be expected.

There are also days I call ‘red light days,’ because, no matter what you do, you feel like you’re spinning your wheels. Sometimes, you need to take some time off.

However, you can improve the quality of your daily life by cultivating a reliable mindset for when things feel out of control. Think of it as your morning mindset.

The essential elements are:

Flexibility
Productivity
Steady mood
Calm
Reasonable goals
Kindness and compassion (toward yourself as well as others)

You won’t adopt this mindset easily every day, but conscious awareness of it will help you maintain it through most days.

I keep this list handy, where I can see it, to remind myself when my emotions start to take over.

A quick round of square breathing and a glance at the list help put things back in perspective and tip the day up. Give it a try!

That’s all for today!

Have a good week!

All my best,

Barbara

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