Blog Short #203: Self-Doubt and Imposter Syndrome: How to Cut Through It
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Everyone is plagued by self-doubt sometimes. It’s normal. On the positive side, it helps you avoid impulsive actions that have negative repercussions. However, self-doubt becomes a problem when it’s pervasive and paralyzes you or sends you into a frenzy of activity to overcome it.
In both cases, self-doubt seeps into your identity and controls how you see yourself. It invades your self-talk, compromises social interactions, and consumes your attention.
It’s miserable and has you swinging back and forth between anxiety and depression.
At its worst, self-doubt develops into full-blow imposter syndrome, where you remain a hostage to relentless self-attack.
I will focus today on imposter syndrome because it’s where self-doubt lives. You can use any of the strategies for overcoming imposter syndrome to help you with your self-doubts, even minor ones.
Let’s start with a definition.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter Syndrome is an underlying belief that you’re a fraud even when your accomplishments and achievements say otherwise.
That’s the general definition. However, your assumptions are what drive that belief. Here are the most common ones.
- Everyone knows more than I do (and it’ll always be that way).
- All my accomplishments are just luck and good timing or because someone else laid the groundwork for me.
- I’m not as smart and talented as other people, and I never will be.
- Even though it appears I’m competent, people will find out pretty quickly that I’m not.
Generally, people with imposter syndrome are accomplished but downplay their achievements and never feel like they’ve done enough or done it well enough.
Dr. Valerie Young, the founder of the Imposter Syndrome Institute and an expert in the field, has identified five types of imposter syndrome that help explain how self-doubt manifests.
Let’s review them.
1. The Perfectionist
The perfectionist focuses primarily on performance. The outcome must be perfect. Anything less than 100% is unacceptable and results in failure and shame.
There’s always the belief that you could have done better, and even if others affirm your competence and worth, they don’t realize you’re not as good as they think you are.
2. The Expert
The expert focuses on attaining a perfect level of knowledge: How much do you know?
If you don’t know everything there is to know about a particular topic or area of expertise, then you aren’t an expert. Even though you know a significant amount and have experience and expertise, that doesn’t count.
You’re a fake parading as an expert, and other people will find you out.
3. The Natural Genius
This person focuses on how easy it is to achieve or accomplish something.
If you struggle to master a skill or subject, you’re not smart or talented enough. You’re mediocre.
If I can’t write this article off the top of my head in 30 minutes with little need for editing, then I don’t have what it takes to be a good writer.
4. The Soloist
You should be able to accomplish things on your own. You’re not genuinely competent if you need help or coaching from others.
5. The Superhuman
This person must be able to do it all and do it perfectly and quickly simultaneously. You’re the master multi-tasker and keep many plates spinning in the air at once.
Only the hardest worker and master juggler is competent and worthy. Falling short is a failure and, again, leads to shame.
How to Combat Imposter Syndrome
You can see from the five types outlined above that self-doubt and imposter syndrome go hand in hand. They both rely on these three personality traits and patterns.
- Low self-efficacy. Self-efficacy is your belief in your ability to achieve any particular goal or task. People with significant self-doubt question their ability to succeed to the point that they create a self-fulfilling prophecy and don’t perform well.
- Perfectionism. You need to be able to perform 100% in every situation.
- Neuroticism. You tend to experience negative emotions and reactions like anxiety, depression, anger, and guilt often.
The Strategies
Strategies to overcome self-doubt and imposter syndrome aim to chip away at these three personality characteristics. By using these strategies, you get a handle on them. Here they are.
#1 Always be a student.
If you adopt the practice of being open to new information, methods, and ideas, you will be a perpetual student who enjoys learning.
A quick story applies:
In his book Think Again, Adam Grant tells the story of giving a speech at a conference.
Sitting in the audience was Daniel Kahneman, the author of the well-known book Thinking Fast and Slow.
Adam presented some studies and findings that challenged something Dr. Kahneman had endorsed.
Instead of being upset or offended, Dr. Kahneman told Adam he enjoyed being proven wrong and learning something new because now “he’s less wrong than he was before.”
Learning, knowledge, and expertise are fluid, and focusing on growth and learning instead of needing to be on top allows you to flourish and enjoy the process as you go.
#2 Focus on contribution instead of identity.
A quicker way to say this is to focus on what you give rather than how people perceive you.
Keep your attention on what’s needed.
For example, if you work with other people, what do they most need from you that you have to offer?
If you’re writing, who is your audience, what problems do they need addressing, or what inspires them?
How are your skills helpful to those on the receiving end?
The same applies to social interactions. What do you contribute to the well-being of people you interact with?
Instead of worrying about how they see you, consider how you affect them. Are you showing interest and empathy, setting a needed boundary, or listening?
Self-doubt prevents you from considering how to help because it keeps you focused on yourself.
You get all wrapped up in feeling anxious and lamenting what you think you don’t have. We all do it, so this isn’t a criticism but something to consider.
Think of yourself as a player on a team. You have something to contribute to the overall success and operation of the team. You’re needed. Your job is to do your best without sinking into self-criticism.
If you need to improve a skill, take the time to practice, but don’t let the mantra “I’m not good enough” distract you. It siphons off energy and time you could spend improving.
#3 Practice.
Practice is a never-ending part of life.
People who succeed and who evolve love practice.
It’s not just a means to an end but a rewarding experience because it involves fully engaging yourself in the present moment and becoming one with what you’re doing.
Someone can have natural talent and quickly pick up skills; however, the person who works consistently and diligently at improving a skill is the most successful.
#4 Make friends with mistakes.
Imposter syndrome and self-doubt are methods of resisting owning your mistakes. You pretend you shouldn’t make mistakes, fail, or sometimes miss the boat.
Any progress involves making mistakes and overcoming obstacles.
People have a hard time accepting this.
This is especially true if you were raised in a family where mistakes were forbidden and severely punished.
Research has shown that people deeply entrenched in imposter syndrome either had parents who were overly critical and didn’t help them learn how to accept and navigate failures, or parents who heaped on praise using superlative adjectives like “You’re the most talented kid I’ve ever seen!”
Either way, the message is, “The only acceptable way to be is to be perfect.”
#5 Stay away from comparing yourself to others.
Comparison can be helpful if you use it to improve, but for people who have significant self-doubts or imposter syndrome, it’s deadly.
Stick to making incremental improvements measured by your performance in whatever area you’re working on. You are your measuring stick, and you must create your own pace for progress.
A Quick Sum-Up
- Embrace your voice and skills and share them.
- Everyone doesn’t need precisely the same thing, so your unique delivery may assist someone in a way that someone else’s doesn’t or didn’t.
- It’s not just your skills but how you use them to provide service that’s your own. Only you can do that.
That’s all for today.
Have a great week!
All my best,
Barbara